Mrs Bono copyrights the word “nude”: “the” and “and” under threat as Stella McCartney sued

Mr and Mrs Bono

The wife of world-famous humanitarian and tax expert Bono is suing Stella McCartney for the use of the word “nude” in her latest perfume, Stella Nude.

Ali Hewson, a charity campaigner or “chugger” as they are sometimes fondly known, had previously named her company “Nude Skincare”, rendering “nude”, “skin” and “care” off limits to everyone in perpetuity.

Similarly, Nina Ricci presciently bagged “air” and the concept of time when she named her scent, “L’air du temps”. Luckily, this was in a foreign language and isn’t liable under British law, but French physicists and philosophers have been having a helluva time. Cake enthusiast Marcel Proust was forced to retitle his book which now roughly translates as “The Search for Lost Clocks”, although the makers of the TV series “Lost” are keeping an eye on developments.

In Ohio, Mr Walt Furffenhower has filed a claim stating that his grandfather invented the ampersand and the @ sign in 1848, and has threatened a law suit against everyone on the planet with an email address. “A buck apiece’ll do me fine,” he gummed in his trailer. “First thing ah’ll do is git ma teeth fixed.”

Unrelated but in the same ballpark, Joel Tenenbaum has been fined $675,000 for uploading 30 music tracks.

Scientists estimate that due to the Linguistics Enclosures Acts, the English language will be rendered “someone else’s” by the year 2075.

Madam Miaow says … visit Anna Chen’s website here:


Anna’s food blog here:

9 thoughts on “Mrs Bono copyrights the word “nude”: “the” and “and” under threat as Stella McCartney sued”

  1. Marina Hyde is on good form on this in today's 'Teh Graun', quoting Groucho Marx when 'A Night in Casablanca' was being sued by Warner Brothers who had produced the 'of all the gin joints' version; his argument that their approach would criminalise the use of 'Brothers', previously used by his own family not to mention the Karamazovs, is a gem.

  2. Talking about 'Nude' why is it you've always got that Chinese model dressed up in a leather jacket showing her gnashes? There're like cheese gratters and you wouldn't know whether she'd ……. or she'd …….

  3. Agreed, Mike. Most definitely.

    But Mrs Bono seems to be pushing the envelope somewhat. Especially as there are two other fragrances on the market called "Nude".

    Besides, Bono … !

  4. The problem is that copyrights involve the theft of language. In other words copytheft so to speak.

    But while this modern innovation of private property prevails even the left must defend copyright in principle or how else will writers be paid for their efforts?

  5. Makes me all nostalgic for the blurb you'd get on the back of records in the 80s: 'Home taping is killing music.'

    As it used to say on Alternative Tentacles' records: 'The Music Industry is Killing Music.' Not a lot has changed has it?

  6. Don'cha just lurve these worthy little charity types, who preach "do as I say not as I do"…

    Just seeing Bonio makes me heave, health warning slapped on his schmaltzy head. Vile vile….

    Oh and I read about that daft and incredible fine for uploading 30 music tracks. Bloody stupid!

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