CAST: PORTRAITS & POEMS

Hugo Trebels as Commissioner Lin Zexu

Lin Zexu Just Says No

Lin Zexu Just Says No

SONG: LIN ZEXU JUST SAYS NO
by Anna Chen

It was illegal.
It was evil.
It was immoral.
It was Sodom and Gommorral.

Use your head,
Use your smarts
Would you trust these guys?
Would you buy a used cart?
How can you justify
A junkie-making enterprise
The object of the exercise
Is making them rich
ALL: The object of the exercise
Is making us rich

They’re a bunch of fakers
They look like undertakers
They won’t be happy
Til we’re dying in a ditch
Treating us like mugs
Selling us their drugs
Costing us a fortune
Till we haven’t got a stitch
ALL: Costing them a fortune til they haven’t got a stitch.

LORD PALMERSTON: So, there you have it — the voice of authority

LIN:
You think it’s jolly?
Stoned off your trolley?
Spending all your lolly on dreaming with the dead?
It’s OK you lot spicing up your life
The poppy costs a packet and it messes up your head
ALL: The poppy costs a packet and it messes up your head

You try sucking on the pipe for a while.
It feels like minutes but it’s longer by a mile
Days and weeks pass. And it bloody-well shows.
Give it a month, you’ll lose your glow
Lose your glamour, lose your zing
Your skin all puckers. You start to ming
Your teeth fall out
And then your hair
No-one’ll look at you
They wouldn’t bloody da-a-a-re
ALL: No-one’ll look at you, we wouldn’t bloody dare. Ee-uw!

QUEEN VICTORIA: It never did me any harm.

LIN ZEXU: Yeah, not much of an advert, are you, Queenie?

What is the time? Eighteen thirty-nine.
LORD P, SIR JM, QUEEN VIC: China is in a bit of a decline
LIN: Okay, yeah, we’re past our prime
You really didn’t give us a chance to shine
There’s no excuse
For all this abuse
Hand me your drugs
I want your poppy juice.
Deliver all your drugs to me
I’ll sprinkle it with lime
And throw it in the sea.
ALL: He’ll sprinkle it with lime
And throw it in the sea.

LIN: Deliver all your drugs to me-e-e-e
I’ll sprinkle it with lime
And throw it in the sea.
ALL: He’ll sprinkle it with lime
And throw it in the sea.

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